My name is Jessica, I’m 21, and live in Aberdeen. While I’ve had severe eczema from birth, it’s been at its worst over the last few years, which has made life more challenging.
From a young age, I visited numerous GPs, who all suggested different treatment options, none of which were hugely effective. I remember being aware of eczema being there; however, it seemed manageable and was only really bad on body creases, which I was able to cover up. At this young age, I was already aware of being different, and wanted to hide my eczema to prevent people from noticing it.
When I was 17, at around the end of the Covid-19 lockdowns, my eczema got unbelievably worse for an unknown reason. It was particularly bad on my face. I was so embarrassed by the way I looked, I refused to go out and see my friends, or even attend school.
When I did go out, people would stare and sometimes comment. They intended to help, but not understanding my situation, made it so much worse, saying things like, ‘have you tried x moisturiser?’. This made me want to go out even less, which put me and my parents in a difficult position. My parents were extremely supportive and didn’t force me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with, including attending school when I couldn’t face it.
When I did go out, people would stare and sometimes comment. They intended to help, but not understanding my situation, made it so much worse, saying things like, ‘have you tried x moisturiser?’
Jessica
I tried light therapy during this period, but it didn’t make any difference. The eczema and pain carried on for over a year. Then, strangely, the week before I went to university, it all cleared up! This felt like a miracle because I’d been extremely nervous about going, looking and feeling the way I did. I was in constant pain and aware of people staring at me. Despite not changing my skin routine at all, the eczema stayed away for 6 months.
When it came back, I found this difficult to deal with, as all my new university friends knew me without any sort of skin condition. I didn’t want them to find out about it in case they saw me differently. I think this was my biggest anxiety with my eczema; that it was a constantly changing condition. The unpredictability of eczema made me reluctant to commit to things, or socialise, as I never knew what I was going to look or feel like when I woke up every morning.
The unpredictability of eczema made me reluctant to commit to things, or socialise, as I never knew what I was going to look or feel like when I woke up every morning.
Jessica
As I started my second year of university, my skin was pretty bad all over my body. I was in constant pain and struggled to exercise and play hockey – the sport I loved. Not being able to play caused my mental health to deteriorate. I managed to get a new doctor’s appointment and was prescribed more light therapy and steroid tablets. The tablets did help hugely; however, I didn’t know at the time that this would be temporary. Again, the light therapy made no difference, so I stopped that after finishing my course.
The months after Christmas 2022 were some of the worst of my life. I wasn’t sleeping properly, so didn’t get up until nearly midday every day. Having my boyfriend around made a massive difference and got me through those months. Despite my reluctance, he would help me put cream on my back as I would cry in shame and pain.
Once I completed my exams, I headed home, where I got a dermatology appointment. I was given more steroids and steroid cream, and was told that if the eczema flared again, I could try immunosuppressants. As before, it came back, so I started methotrexate. This came from a doctor I had to pay and drive over an hour each way to see. I had to see a private dermatologist due to there being a 94-week waiting list to see an NHS dermatologist.
Thankfully, methotrexate is having some effect. I’m not completely sorted, but the eczema is most definitely better than it was. I’m grateful that I’m in a position to be able to afford the help I needed, as I know lots aren’t. If I wasn’t, I’m not sure where I would be today. I certainly wouldn’t be on my year abroad in New Zealand, confident enough to meet new people and share my story.
At the moment, I’m coping, and hoping to try other immunosuppressants or dupilumab when I return home to see if they’re more effective. I’m hoping to inspire others to speak out and not feel alone, as I know while I was struggling, I would read others’ stories over and over again, reminding myself it wasn’t just me going through this. It’s taken me nearly 21 years with lots of ups and downs with this condition, to finally feel ready and confident enough to share my experience to help others. I’m also raising as much awareness as I can through fundraising for National Eczema Society, and will run the Great North Run in September!
